Therapy After Suicide Loss
Virtual therapy across Ontario · In-person in Ottawa
Losing someone to suicide is not like other grief.
It is grief that comes with questions that have no answers. With guilt that replays the last conversation. With anger that has nowhere clean to go. With a silence that settles into families and hardens there, sometimes for years. With the particular loneliness of a loss that other people do not know how to be near.
If this is where you are, you do not need to explain it or justify it or make it easier for the people around you. You need somewhere to bring it as it actually is.
Why suicide loss is different
Grief after suicide tends to be more complicated than grief after other kinds of death, and not because the love was greater or the loss was worse. It is because of what surrounds it.
There is often shock, even when there were signs. The mind keeps returning to what it could not have known, or what it knew and could not change. There is guilt that is not rational but feels completely real. There is anger, at the person who died, at the circumstances, at yourself, and that anger can feel like a betrayal of the love.
There are questions that cannot be answered. Why. Whether you could have done something. Whether they knew they were loved. Those questions do not resolve with time. They settle differently, but only when there is a space to actually sit with them.
There is also what happens inside families. Suicide can reorganize a family's entire system. It creates silence where there should be conversation. It assigns roles: who holds it together, who is allowed to fall apart, whose grief is visible and whose is not. Children step into positions that were never meant for them. Relationships strain under the weight of what is not being said.
None of this resolves on its own.
What I bring to this work
I lost three family members to suicide. This is not something I read about or studied before I encountered it in a client's life. I have lived inside this grief. I have navigated the silence, the guilt, the unanswerable questions, and the way this kind of loss moves through a family long after the death itself.
I have also done the work of actually grieving it, not just managing it or turning it into purpose, but sitting with it long enough that it began to settle.
That experience shapes how I work with clients who have experienced suicide loss. I am not afraid of the details. I am not uncomfortable with the anger or the guilt or the questions that have no answers. I understand that this grief does not follow a predictable shape, and I will not try to move you through stages or toward acceptance on any particular timeline.
My approach is grounded in attachment theory and trauma-informed care. We work with what is actually present: the specific loss, the specific relationship, the specific silence it left behind. We make space for everything that is not being said anywhere else. And we work toward a life where this loss has a place without defining everything.
Who this is for
This page is for adults who have lost someone to suicide and are carrying grief that has not had a proper place to land. That might mean the loss happened recently, or it might mean it happened years ago and something has surfaced that needs attention now. Both are welcome.
You might recognize yourself here:
You are replaying the last conversation, or the last week, looking for what you missed
You feel guilty, even though you know, intellectually, that you could not have controlled this
You feel angry and then ashamed of the anger
You are functioning, because you have to, but something underneath has not moved
You have not talked about this fully with anyone because it feels too heavy to put on another person
Your family does not talk about it, and the silence is its own kind of weight
The loss happened years ago and you are only now realizing you never actually grieved it
If you are currently experiencing thoughts of suicide yourself, please reach out to a crisis service. In Canada, you can call or text 988 at any time to speak with someone. This page is specifically for people grieving the loss of someone else.
What therapy can offer
Therapy after suicide loss will not give you answers to the questions that have no answers. What it can do is give those questions somewhere to live that is not inside you alone.
It can help you separate guilt from responsibility. It can help you find a way to hold the anger without it turning inward. It can help you understand what happened inside your family system, and what role you took on, and whether you want to keep carrying it.
It can also help with the grief that came before the death: the grief of watching someone struggle, of not knowing how to help, of the relationship as it actually was rather than how you wished it had been.
And it can help you find a relationship with the person who died that is not defined entirely by how they died.
If you are ready to bring this somewhere safe, I would be glad to hear from you.
Frequently Asked Questions
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Individual sessions are $170 for 50 minutes. I offer virtual therapy for adults across Ontario and in-person therapy in Ottawa at Maia Counselling Centre (1900 City Park Drive, Suite 408).
As a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) in Ontario, my services are covered by most extended health benefit plans under psychotherapy. Please confirm coverage directly with your provider before booking.
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Yes, in meaningful ways. Suicide loss tends to involve higher levels of guilt, shame, anger, and unanswered questions than other kinds of bereavement. There is often a social silence around it that makes it harder to grieve openly. Research consistently shows that people bereaved by suicide are at higher risk of complicated grief and benefit from specific, targeted support.
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expiry date. Many people come to therapy years or decades after a suicide loss, often because something has shifted: a life transition, a new loss, or simply the weight of carrying it for so long becoming too much. It is never too late to grieve something properly.
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Anger is one of the most common and least talked about responses to suicide loss. It makes complete sense, and it does not mean you loved the person less. Therapy is a space where that anger can be expressed honestly, without judgment, and worked with rather than suppressed.
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Guilt is almost universal in suicide loss. The mind searches for what it could have known, said, or done differently. Therapy does not dismiss that guilt or tell you it is irrational. It helps you look at it honestly and, over time, separate what was actually within your control from what was not.
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Yes. Suicide loss often affects the entire family system, even when people are not talking about it openly. Individual therapy can help you understand the roles and patterns that formed around the loss, and give you more choice about how you want to move forward within your family relationships.
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Yes. Whether the loss was recent or years ago, therapy can help. Old grief that was carried quietly often surfaces during life transitions, new losses, or periods of stress. Whenever it arrives, it deserves attention.