Motherhood broke me, but not all at once. It happened in the silence and the self-sacrifice, until grief finally asked to be named. When I let myself mourn what was lost, peace returned and joy cracked free. The journey is no longer self-sacrifice. It is self-honouring.

I help women who hold everyone else return to themselves.

This is the moment I learned to be held.

I was taught not to cry.

I lost 3 family members to suicide.

And so many loved ones.

I thought I knew grief.

But I didn’t.

Last week, I sat in the woods by myself for 7 days.

No kid

No husband

Ten years ago, on a mountain top in Ireland I saw the most incredible rainbow.

And for the last 10 years, I’ve been unknowingly chasing them.

I came down off that mountain top and learned the language of healing, of self awareness.

"Is that on your bucket list?" someone asked me earlier that day. Nope. It was never something that I thought I would - no, could do.

Normally, it takes three years to train and learn how to break a board. When I was told I could learn it in 30 minutes, I had all kinds of self doubt.

I hit rock bottom and I didn't even know it.

It was three years ago and if you asked me then, I would have told you that life was pretty good. I had finally met my biggest business goal, making the most money I ever had. I was traveling for three weeks in South America and I had just purchased my very first home. Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

Do you see what I see?

I spy a family - people that love each other and got together to play and have fun. Yes – that’s a bouncy castle behind them and in a helicopter hanger of all places.

Just before Christmas last year, I was Skyping with a friend who told me about the One Word concept. She said that instead of setting a whole bunch of New Year's resolutions, she would pick one word. She explained that she focused on who she wanted to become and as a result accomplished a whole lot more.

I turned thirty-five this year. It was Easter Sunday and I refused to see anyone. It was a tough day. I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life and I was extremely hard on myself about it.

Weeks later, I went home and my family celebrated with cake and candles. I wasn’t sure what was going on or who it was for. Neither did my grandmother who said, “what’s going on? Did you finally find yourself a boyfriend?”

How a little girl in an orphanage taught me more about myself than any other self-help tools.

I went to Peru - signed up for something called Give & Grow expecting to find my gift. Instead, a little girl gave me the greatest gift of all.

It was a cool, drizzly morning as I landed in Paris and as I caught my first glimpse of the Eiffel Tower, that was it – I was hooked. I fell in love with the city, but most of all, with adventure.